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A Heart as Weak as Wax

Topic: Consciousness | Posted:October 29, 2013

We know the story of Toldot; Isaac wants to give the blessing of the first born to Esau, the selfish son who is completely enveloped in the Desire to Receive for the Self Alone. Rebecca tells Jacob they have to trick his father into giving him the blessing instead, and that he should prepare food and put on the clothing of Esau. Here, the Midrash gives us a very interesting insight into the psyche and emotions of Jacob in these moments, and it's very important that we understand it.

The Midrash tells us that this is not something that Jacob wants to do, that he is forced to do it. It says that as he’s getting prepared to enter his father’s room, he is bent over, completely broken, and he's crying. So as Jacob is getting ready to receive what is probably the greatest Light revealed in this world, how does he go into it? He's forced into it, he does not want to do it, he's bent over, he's completely broken, and he's crying. Then he enters into the room and his father, Isaac, senses something's wrong for many reasons. He smells the Garden of Eden, yet he knows that Esau is not connected to the Garden of Eden, and he hears Jacob use the names referring to the Creator, yet he knows Esau is not connected to the Light of the Creator. So, he says to Jacob, “I want to feel you. I want to see if you're really my son Esau.”

Jacob is crying so much that the tears are falling on his hips and thighs, and it says his heart is as weak as wax. He's so upset and broken that he can't even move, and therefore, the Creator sends two angels to support him and bring him close to Isaac, because he’s not going on his own. He's lost total power over his body, and these two angels are holding him so that he doesn't fall down; that is the secret of the verse in Isaiah - “Do not give up, because the Creator is there to support you.”

Now the question becomes even deeper. Why is the Creator doing all this? Poor Jacob, can you imagine? Aren't there easier ways for him to draw all this Light? The answer is - and this is very important to understand - the only way for Jacob to merit the great gifts from Isaac was if he was completely broken; when Jacob felt nothing of himself, no merit of himself, no thoughts of himself, no ability of himself. Therefore, the blessings had to come to Jacob in this way because it's the only way for any for any of us, and in this case Jacob, to awaken the great Light. Only if you're able to be as empty as Jacob was in that moment.

Until the End of the Correction, all the Light of elevation and revelation comes from this moment in Jacob's time. And only because Jacob was so lacking and empty was he able to draw this Light down for himself and the world. If you want to have the great Light, if you want to draw down the great blessings, you have to feel devoid of merit, like Jacob. You have to have, as the Midrash tells us, a heart as weak as wax where you can’t even move and you need the angels to support you. And when you get to that place is when you receive the blessings.

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